Note: Gary Alvero and Patrick Nicnilo requested that the names of their children not be used in the article. Most adoptive parents change the names of their children; they have not. For the protection of the children, their names will not be used.

Because our country has a preconceived idea of what a “normal” family is, gay and lesbian couples must fight to prove their roles as adequate parents. The stories of two couples who have adopted children prove that families, regardless of sexual orientation, need strength, hard work and love.

Melanie and Margaret

Margaret (left) and Melanie stand outside the playground with their children at Liberation United Church of Christ in Lakewood.

“The first year it was tough. We were so discouraged and felt like it wouldn’t happen. Then, boom. The next thing you know, we have four,” Margaret Roberts-Byrd says.

“She’s very fertile,” Margaret adds. “I always tell her, ‘We don’t need any more babies.’”

But unfortunately, the children they adopted had many cognitive and emotional problems. But they did not find this out until after the children were in their home for a while.

The children came to them with their belongings in trash bags. The clothes they had did not fit them.

All four had been abused in foster homes.

Two of the children, Aaron and Ricky, are brothers. They were taken from their mother because of neglect and unsanitary living conditions.

Their hands were put on stoves. Their heads were dunked under water.

“They didn’t have opinions about what they liked or didn’t like,” Melanie says. “They accepted what was given to them. All of that has changed.”

“(Couples who adopt) will think, ‘Oh, everything is going to be wonderful now,’” Margaret says. “Of course there is a honeymoon period, but then you see the real them.”

Melanie and Margaret's children play at the Liberation United Church of Christ, an LGBT-affirming church, in Lakewood.

“Then they test you,” Melanie adds.

Despite the struggles, Margaret says they have great expectations for their children.

“We never tell them that they can’t do anything,” Margaret says.

“With the exception of jumping off of the roof,” Melanie adds.

“I would do it all over again. It made us stronger as a couple and as people,” Margaret says. “We don’t really argue anymore.”

“What!” Melanie interrupts.

“Okay, a couple times of year,” Margaret says.

“Just to keep the flames burning,” Melanie adds.

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